Torpor: A form of inactivity, torpor is a state when an animal ceases movement for part of the day and drops its body temperature in order to conserve energy. Some animals, including newts, can enter this state for a longer period of times months and this is the more commonly known hibernation. But torpor is more akin to you lying on your couch in front of your television barely staying conscious as you watch back-to-back soap operas.

Dear Dr. Newt,

Train A is leaving Dildo, Newfoundland at 6 a.m. headed for Kapuskasing, Ontario at a speed of 80 kilometres per hour and Train B is leaving at 7:20 a.m. from Kapuskasing for Dildo at 110 kilometres per hour. At what point on the trip will they crash into one another?

Signed,

Pythagoras Johnson

Dr Newt helps with your math homework. As if Newts do math.

Dear Dr. Newt,

I hear that you newts sometimes secrete poison from their pores. If I ate you, would I get a hallucinogenic experience? Or would I just keel over and die?

Signed,

Trippy Skippy

What happens if you eat a newt?

“Lick a lizard? What’s that?”