Blue balls: A physiological response that occurs when a male’s sexual advances are thwarted by an unwilling partner. The result is a sharp pain in the testicular region due to vasocongestion. It does not usually present with a rash as Blue Ball describes in his letter. He most likely has an allergic reaction of some kind.

For a visual aid on blue balls, please see the scene in Philip Roth’s Goodbye, Columbus, where Neil Klugman is trying to score in the backseat of his car with his date. She doesn’t want to go all the way, so they stop and he feels a deep pain. He then tries to lift his car to give himself back pain instead. (At least that’s what happens in the movie. I never did read the short story collection.) If you wish to experience this vasocongestion yourself, you can either start dating an overly religious teenager, or if you’re a woman, start having menstrual cramps.

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