Johnny Smith: The main character in Stephen King’s novel, The Dead Zone. The book was made into a movie in 1983 by Canadian horror director David Cronenberg and starred the scariest man alive, Christopher Walken (join his U.S. Presidential campaign here), where he delivers his most emotional line to date: “THE ICE IS GONNA BREAK!” [...]
Blue balls: A physiological response that occurs when a male’s sexual advances are thwarted by an unwilling partner. The result is a sharp pain in the testicular region due to vasocongestion. It does not usually present with a rash as Blue Ball describes in his letter. He most likely has an allergic reaction of some [...]
Big Hand in the Sky: Whether it be some form of omnipotent, omniscient being that controls all living things, or simply Dr. Newt’s owner, the large or Big Hand in the Sky is what feeds Dr. Newt. Usually, bloody, frozen worms. But sometimes fish food pellets. Either way, it’s a generally harmonious relationship. Once in [...]
Flesh walkers: Flesh Walkers is Dr. Newt’s nickname for me, you or anyone that has seen this site, namely humans. I guess it’s because we have flesh - and we walk.
Pipe bomb: A pipe bomb is an improvised explosive device consisting a sealed pipe (usually a short section of steel pipe) filled with explosive materials. The design allows larger explosions from small combustible substances. It is perfect to blow up a school, small government institution, such as a branch of the post office in the [...]
Global Warming: The warming of the globe. Also known as climate change. See smarter people than me for an explanation.
Big Light in the Sky: There is a tall, free-standing lamp next to Dr. Newt’s tank. It sometimes gets turned off.
Poisonous secretion: The newt, an amphibian of the Salamandridae family secretes a poisonous liquid which can be fatal if consumed. Many mammals spit them out instantaneously due to a burning sensation that is felt on the tongue. The poison, tetrodotoxin, has no known antidote and is found in all newts, young and old - even [...]
She asks a stupid question. There’s nothing to explain.
Giant Hand: (Same as Big Hand in the Sky. See Dear Miss Pageant note.) Sometimes it needs to be bitten hard.
Marty: Marty went to college with Dr. Newt. He was a real party animal but he and Dr. Newt have had some kind of a falling out. It might have something to do with Marty never returning Dr. Newt’s Tupac CD or maybe it has do with all the warrants out for Marty’s arrest. I [...]
Ask A Ninja: One of the most popular series on the Internet, Ask A Ninja, created by L.A. Improv comedians Kent Nichols and Douglas Sarine, features an overly energetic ninja (Sarine) who answers e-mails from “viewers” in confusing and comical ways. Launched on November of 2005, it was not the first of these type of [...]
Palmate newt: The palmate newt (Lissotriton helveticus) is found in the U.K., Western and Northern Europe and is often found living in ponds, marshes and lakes. They are olive-green or brown with yellow or pale orange bellies. As Dr. Newt explains in the video, the males have webbed feet on their hind legs that [...]
Turtle: A long-living shell-backed reptile, the turtle is a creature of the Order Testudines. The one in Dr. Newt’s tank (known as Rocky, the aquarium bitch) is a plaything which the good doctor molests on a regular basis. But was Rocky stolen from ChrasityFilms?… Um, no comment…
Loblaws: (for non-Canadian viewers) Loblaws is a semi-expensive grocery store chain.
Patrick McGoohan: British actor Patrick McGoohan was in two significant 1960s series in England. First, he played John Drake in the spy show Danger Man (known as Secret Agent in the States with the hit theme song by Johnny Rivers).
But more importantly, he created and starred in one of the greatest and most confusing television [...]
Emo: A form of rock music, Emo originally started in mid-1980s as a subgenre of hardcore punk, but has gone through many revisions over the years. The term stands for emotional music and involves band members with long bangs brushed over one eye and dressed in tight jeans. Oh, and they played music too.
The oils: What the Americans want from the Middle East.
The scorpion (and the frog): A famous fable or parable, The Scorpion and the Frog is meant to illustrate that it is impossible to change one’s nature or basic instincts. In the story, a scorpion needs to cross the river and tries to get a frog [...]
Suicide: The process of ending one’s own life. Usually, not desirable.
Happy Harry Hard On: Christian Slater’s on-air personality from Pump Up the Volume. Slater plays Mark Hunter, an outsider kid who has recently moved to a new town and attends a terrible high school. So with a ham radio his parents bought him and stealing [...]
1967 Buick Skylark: A car.
Skylark: A bird.
Spermatophore: A small packet of sperm cells.
Cloaca: The genital tracts of amphibians, reptiles and birds, the cloaca is used to expel urine and feces. During mating, the male newt can release spermatophore from his cloaca and the female picks it up with hers in a process called amplexus. But some male newts fertilize the eggs [...]
Danica McKellar: (no relation to Canadian actor Don McKellar) Best known as Winnie Cooper on the coming-of-age series The Wonder Years, Danica McKellar has, in fact, appeared in a number of shows, including The West Wing and more recently How I Met Your Mother.
But in addition to her acting career, she has focused heavily on [...]
Blend: To mix into a fine paste. To see demonstrations of blending, check out the Will it Blend? advertisements for Blendtec.
Torpor: A form of inactivity, torpor is a state when an animal ceases movement for part of the day and drops its body temperature in order to conserve energy. Some animals, including newts, can enter this state for a longer period of times months and this is the more commonly known hibernation. But torpor is [...]
