Johnny Smith: The main character in Stephen King‘s novel, The Dead Zone. The book was made into a movie in 1983 by Canadian horror director David Cronenberg and starred the scariest man alive, Christopher Walken (join his U.S. Presidential campaign here), where he delivers his most emotional line to date: “THE ICE IS GONNA BREAK!” [...]

Dear Dr. Newt, My girlfriend Eunice and I seem to fight all the time. It doesn’t matter what we’re talking about, what movie to go see, where to eat dinner or whose psychic ability would solve a murder faster, Johnny Smith’s from The Dead Zone or Louis Ciccone’s from Seeing Things, we always ending up [...]

Blue balls: A physiological response that occurs when a male’s sexual advances are thwarted by an unwilling partner. The result is a sharp pain in the testicular region due to vasocongestion. It does not usually present with a rash as Blue Ball describes in his letter. He most likely has an allergic reaction of some [...]

Dear Dr. Newt, I have this rash on my left testicle that’s turning blue. Should I get this checked out? Sincerely, Blue Ball Dr. Newt helps a man with a problem down there. _______________ NOT THE ADVICE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR? Men’s Private Parts : A Pocket Reference to Prostate, Urologic, and Sexual Health JUST [...]

Big Hand in the Sky: Whether it be some form of omnipotent, omniscient being that controls all living things, or simply Dr. Newt’s owner, the large or Big Hand in the Sky is what feeds Dr. Newt. Usually, bloody, frozen worms. But sometimes fish food pellets. Either way, it’s a generally harmonious relationship. Once in [...]

Dear Dr. Newt, If you ruled the world, what would you change, and why? The Miss America Pageant A beauty pageant contestant wonders how Dr. Newt would rule the world. ______________ NOT THE ADVICE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR? How to Win Your Crown: A Teen’s Guide to Pageant Competition JUST BUY A BOOK!